Lǽring: Being a man in today’s society

Hello my friends, before we get to todays message. Remember, you can listen to these, as well as our weekly podcast on our website at forn-sidr.akoutlaw.com. As well, you can find the written copies of these shows that you can pass on to those individuals who may be hearing impaired. Please be sure to follow us on all the social media nets, podcast channels, and particularly there on Wisdom.

This subject comes up all the time during the many counseling sessions I offer throughout the week. The idea of being “macho”, or “strong”, and separating that from being controlling, or abusive. Many people have asked me how I can be a “real” Norseman because I seem to be more progressive, or rather “less aggressive”. 

My story remains the same, as does my answer to the many inquires. Being strong, or masculine, does not translate into any type of superiority, not does it require violence to prove it. As a happily married man for over 30 years, I can say that my marriage is a partnership. I am not superior to my bride in any way, nor is she superior to me, we are a team. A dedicated partnership. Sure, we argue about stuff, but just because we disagree, does not mean either of us is “right”. It means we have different perspectives.

Herein lies the difference between “real” men of the Norse, and the wannabe imitations, but alas I digress. The truth of the reality is that being a man today is really no different than those of my ancestors. Being a man today means that we search and find our lifelong mate, build a life and career that we may support our soon to be built, family. The modern man is strong, intelligent, and emotionally secure enough to be loving and kind. 

We have no reason for hate or division. We are part of a system, an equal balance of power and knowledge. Wisdom and cunning, patience and haste. We, with the help of our partner experience, the crowning achievement of honor within a man’s life, provision for the family. That’s what it takes. By achieving the balance within our relationships to handle the many challenges of life.

Many people confuse the ideas that my ancestors were sexist in their assignment of family tasks, and they are wrong. My ancestors enjoyed the benefit of this balance, by taking care of the things that they were better at. What I think many people overlook, was the fact that when the men of the clans were away on raiding (or Viking) the partner may remain on the homestead keeping the livestock and crops growing, while possibly defending the home, livestock, and crops from threats (both human and not). So, there was a dependency on each other.  There were other partners who attended the raids to return property to the common people.

Being a man today is no different than being a man in my ancestral home in Denmark during the “Age of the Vikings” Being humble, yet powerful, and the absolutely highest honor I can have is to raise a wonderful family and being the best husband I can be.