Lǽring: Being a friend

Hello my friends, before we get to todays message. Remember, you can listen to these, as well as our weekly podcast on our website at forn-sidr.akoutlaw.com. As well, you can find the written copies of these shows that you can pass on to those individuals who may be hearing impaired. Please be sure to follow us on all the social media nets, podcast channels, and particularly here on Wisdom.

Today’s message is about being a friend. In the hustle and bustle that we find ourselves engulfed in everyday, many have chosen to stay “connected” to our friends and acquaintances in the virtual world of technology, in-lieu of face-to-face meetings. Some, have chosen to stay connected to “friends” with technology instead of real time, even when in the same space and time together. Our modern society has lost the desire for real-life social bonding. So today I want to take a second to remind us all, what a friend is, and how we can foster these friendships.

Friends are those individuals in our lives that we offer a piece of our heart as a trusted safe keeper. There is no hard-and-fast definition of what makes a friend, nor any criteria that one must muster prior, as it is purely a personal thing. I’d like to take a moment to remind us what each of us should do as our part of the responsibility of being a friend.

The first, and potentially the most important part of being a friend, is our willingness to listen. This is an almost forgotten skillset at this point in the history of human evolution. The ability to listen without judgement, but really listen to what’s being said, and not listening for the sake of identifying a portion to argue with. We need to open our minds, and our hearts as we listen with hope to be enlighten ourselves and our friendship. Sometimes within these conversations we may hear ideas or concepts that we don’t agree with, and that’s ok. Being different is what makes us special. Listening is the best thing we can do to help concrete the relationship.

The next, probably just as importantly, is being there. They say (those scientists) that our canine companions obtain a level of comfort and love from our eye contact with them, and the same should be said about our friends. They too, enjoy (with scientific evidence) making eye contact, or skin contact. It is the way to express and demonstrate care and concern for another being. This is the part where we put aside our technology and actually communicate with those whom we hold dear, or have some level of concern for. Many people need to vent (or release their perceived stress via communication) and that’s really one of the obligations we have of being a friend. The eye contact, and possible a touch, provides an immense amount of intrinsic satisfaction to both you and your friend.

These skills and abilities aren’t just for friends, but for those who may be even closer to your. Wives, husbands, siblings, other family members, or even your “BFF”. Having the ability and willingness to listen, and genuinely care for another individual is what has evolved humans from the very beginning, it has forged societies and communities around the world, in some of the toughest environments. You are a part of that evolutionary trail, and are certainly capable of performing this obligation for your friends, as they would hopefully do for you.

When is the last time you reached out to your “friends”? When is the last time you just listened, instead of interjecting your thoughts. I ask each of us to be the friend we want. If you want a friend who listens to your concerns and worries, listen to theirs. If you want a friend who displays empathy toward our plight, we must first do that for them. I encourage each of us to give it a try.